2026: An Egg Oddity

I never considered myself to be particularly obsessive. Until recently.

Hot take: I’m against Salmonella

One of the eggs in a carton I bought last month was cracked, so I threw it away because I’m not a Salmonella enthusiast.

Which left an odd number of eggs.

I generally make two-egg dishes, so after breakfast there was still an odd number of eggs left.

And of course eggs are sold by the dozen so after shopping… still odd.

So for more than a month I’ve had an odd number of eggs in my refrigerator every time.

And it’s been driving me batshit crazy.

Doc, there was this cracked egg…

The fact that I contemplated throwing away a perfectly good egg just to even things up should show you how unhinged I was becoming.

So to solve this, I eventually made myself a three-egg omelette. The world makes sense again.

And that, doctor, is why my cholesterol results require context.