DJ Clash! Pinyaarrr!
A week ago today, I attended the Whiskey Wednesdays after-work lime at Coast Beach Cafe.
There were a few pockets of patrons at tables but the majority was at the bar and everyone seemed to be in a fun-loving mood, including my good friend David.
Music was being played from YouTube via an iPad and at one point the bartender started to pass it around the bar allowing patrons to choose their own music.
Very cool idea.
The choices were initially what you would expect: some classic reggae and calypso, along with some more modern pop and R&B. I conformed to this trend by choosing Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You which I think is absolutely the finest song released this year, and then No by Meghan Trainor which is just catchy.
The crowd was into it all and everyone was having a good time.
But eventually the choices became a little predictable - how many times do I need to hear Wild Thoughts - and that’s when my twisted sense of humour kicked in.
I looked at the young black audience at the bar and chose Nirvana’s Smell’s Like Teen Spirit. To my surprise, some of the bar staff and a few patrons reacted positively and sang along. David looked at me like I was crazy.
So encouraged, I dropped one 90’s alternative track after the other.
Whaxxx! Zombie by The Cranberries.
Paxxx! Wonderwall by Oasis.
Pow! In the End by Linken Park.
Whapapaxxx!! Lose Yourselfby Eminem.
I was totally seeing those sound effects in my head like if I was in the 1960’s Batman TV show.
Some of the crowd was enjoying it though, but others definitely weren’t, including David who just looked embarrassed to be seen talking to me.
I had Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down cued up when one of the bartenders gently took the iPad from me and said, “Yeah B, I think it going to be Africa in this joint from now,” and passed it to a group of men at the bar who looked like they could be in their early 20’s.
They went the rap route with some 50 Cent and Tupac. The crowd responded positively, and David, starting to get hyped, announced “DJ clash! Pass the iPad.” He drops the Wu Tang Clan classic Protect Ya Neck to confused expressions from the youngsters. “Wha is da he playing?” came from one of them.
David was disgusted. “Disrespecting Wu Tang??? What de hell???”
I told him don’t worry, I got this. I asked for the iPad and chose Big Shaq’s Man’s Not Hot.
I didn’t think David could look any more disgusted than he did when the guys disrespected Wu Tang moments earlier, but he managed to do so just then.
There were a few grumbles from the crowd and the youngsters were outright laughing, so I thought the time was right for the coup de grace.
Bang! Pinyaarrr!! Bring Me To Life by Evanescence.
David later described this as the whitest song he had ever heard and prompted him to declare, “Bartender, can I have my RH bill please?”
We left soon after and as we passed the youngsters on the way out, one of them yelled, “Bye Elvis.”
I took that as a compliment but David just mumbled to himself about yet another bar he can’t return to.
By the way, “pinyaarrr” is the sound a bullet makes when it ricochets. You got that, right?
